Tasty Movie Deaths

Updates coming soon

2009-10-10T03:59:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the delay, guys. What can I say?

Life happens. :)

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

2009-07-19T18:25:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The T-1000

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: After freezing him in liquid nitrogen, breaking him aparting into little pieces, and exploding a good portion of him with a grenade, they finally dumped him into a vat of molten metal. He couldn't maintain his form. He was hard to kill but he couldn't kill the human need to survive.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

2009-07-19T18:21:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Terminatrix

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Built to stop all manners of humans or machines, the Terminatrix couldn't be out ol'fashioned ingeinuity. T-800 grabs his nuclear power cell and shoves it in her mouth; waiting to sacrifice himself to save John Conner. And of course, he couldn't finish her off without saying, "You are terminated."

Predator

2009-07-19T18:18:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The First Predator

TASTY DEATH RATING: 2

RATING: It wouldn't have been appropiate to rate Predator 2 and not rate the first one. Why did it get such a low score? Arnold's character Dutch didn't get his justice for his men. He defeated the Predator true but in the end, the alien had the last laugh. He even laughed the whole time before his bomb took him out.

Predator 2

2009-07-19T18:15:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Second Predator

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Sometimes the poor Predators don't learn from their mistakes. Even the indignity of getting defeated by a human in hand to hand combat. The same human also chopped off his arm previously. What can we say? Shit happens.

Aliens VS Predator

2009-07-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Frozen Queen Mother

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: The Queen Mother goes on her rampage to defeat the Predator Scar and Alexa. She manages to mortally wound Scar and then Alexa finally tips over the frozen water tower to plummet her into the blackness of the frozen ocean. And just in case anybody asks, NO, I have no plans to do a review of that shitty ass Requiem sequel.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

2009-07-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: General Chang

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR!!!! General Chang was the best over-acting Klingon we'd seen in a while. He spouts his Shakespear shit, McCoy says, "I'd give real money if he'd shut up." Spock figures out a way to fire a torpedo at his super-cloaked vessel and they finally shut up him with a ball of photon flame.

The Matrix (1)

2009-07-05T08:44:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Cypher

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Seriously, can anybody play a better rat bastard than Joey Pants? Cypher believes he's got the guys beat as he betrays them with the full extent of killing Neo. He taughts Trinity, about if Neo is the one; he can't be killed. Then here comes Tank, who Cypher thought he had killed. Tank returns the favor by deep frying him with a plasma discharge. He cold, smoked his ass!!!

The Matrix (2)

2009-07-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Agent Smith

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: This was the first death of Neo who came back. He proved he was the "One" by leaping into the code of Agent Smith and causing him to explode. If you look closely you can see his face still screaming as his coded parts are flying past the other agents.

The Matrix: Reloaded

2009-07-05T08:38:00.001-07:00

BAD GUYS: The Ghost Twins

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: These guys seemed pretty unstoppable. Expert martial artists and turning into ghosts at will. They thought they had Morpheus dead to rights but then he sideswipes them by cuting the tire on their SUV: causing a jackknife. It leaves the engine open to a barrage of bullets. The ghosts try to escape but become consumed in the firey explosion.

The Matrix: Revolutions

2009-07-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Smith

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS; Neo hooks up with the machines to purge Smith from the Matrix. Neo can't do it; but then with a last minute hint from the Oracle, he knows how. He lets Smith infect him but now thanks to that, the Machine Overmind can purge Smith out. This was the second death for Smith and the second death of Neo but for Neo, it was permanent.

Pitch Black

2009-07-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: William J. Johns

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Johns made the mistake of assuming Riddick would have a problem with killing an innocent girl. The two men fight and then Riddick cuts him his enemy badly across the back. As John tries to reload, Riddicks taughts him with "Told you to ghost me." Johns is left alone in the dark. The creature swoops in and makes him fire off a round. He tries to fire around round but mistakenly loaded his space shotgun shells full of morphine into the gun. The creature then impales him, and bites off his head like apple. The reason I say that is if you listen to it, someone use the sound effects of bitting into an apple. It's not cheesy, it's tasty.

The Chronicles of Riddick

2009-07-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: The Lord Marshal

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Riddick battles the Lord Marshal when he learns he's wiped out his whole race. After Riddick is wounded and the Marshal is wounded, the evil bastard's right hand man Vako is about to kill him. The Marshal phases away but he phases right into Riddick's field of view. He doesn't have time to phase again. Riddick then slams his blade into the top of the Marshal's head, breaks it off, then kicks him like unwanted trash. I hope he enjoyed the Underverse, because Riddick gave him a one way ticket back.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

2009-07-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Khaaaaaaannnnn!!!!!

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: The tasty death gets a 10 because these two men have been trying to kill each other during the whole movie. Kirk suckers him to a Nebula and then blasts his ship at point blank range. Khan's last move is to ignite the Genesis Torpedo to kill him; all the time quoting Moby Dick. This gets a ten because Khan hates Kirk so much, he's wiling to kill himself to kill him.

Star Trek III: The Searh For Spock

2009-07-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Commander Kruge

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: After ordering the death of his son, Kirk tricks Kruge into leading all his men to a needless death aboard the self-destructing Enterprise. Then when he finds out he's on the planet below, he comes down to beat the secrets of the Genesis torpedo from him. Kirk then finally kicks him off a cliff into the molten core of the planet.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

2009-07-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: The Devil?

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: The Starship Enterprise makes it past the great barrier but at the last minute, realizes they are not visiting God; they have met the devil. Probably God erected the Great Barrier just to keep the Devil in. Kirk like always gets his friends out but is trapped on the planet with the Devil. Then Spock swoops in and destroys him with a Klingon disrupter. I know a lot of you are thinking this rates a 3 or 4 but look at the context; SPOCK KILLED THE DEVIL!!!! It's at least a 7 on that fact alone.

Star Trek: First Contact

2009-07-05T08:03:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Borg Queen

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: The Queen thought she had secured Data's loyalty but in the last second, Data proves he's still loyal to Captain Picard. He smashes the warp core coolant; sending the acidic gas all over the place. Picard flees, the Queen tries to flee but Data pulls her down in the gas, only to have her fleshy parts eaten by the acid cloud. After Picard sucks the gas out of the engine room, he finds her metal parts still quivering. With one pull of her spinal column, the Queen is dead. Long live friendship and loyalty.

Star Trek: Insurrection

2009-07-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Ad'har Ru'afo

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Getting tired of the tired plots that echoed poor Star Trek, we see a group of bad men trying to do bad things to good people and throw in a little government conspiracy then we have Star Trek Insurrection. The bad guy, Ru'afo wants to steal life giving crystals from a planets atmosphere. Picard is getting hot and heavy with a babe down below so he can't have that. He jumps on the the Collector device and sabotages it. Ru'afo tries to stop him but as the Collector is going up in flames, Picard is beamed off while Ru'afo becomes extra crispy.

Braveheart

2009-06-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: English Noble

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: The old English Noble kills an innocent woman. That innocent woman happened to be Wallace's wife. He comes back into the town, dispatches the English guards with some help from his friends and then slices the throat of the Noble . . . .just how he did his wife.

Rising Sun

2009-06-30T18:38:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Bob Richmond

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Bob is an opportunist. He wants to ride high up the corporate ladder; so much he kills a woman and frames it on the son of a Japanese business man. When the friends of the Japanese guy find out, they attack Bob, and throw him into a vat of wet concrete. The fall knocks him out and he slowly sinks to his death.

Dogville

2009-06-30T18:31:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: The Entire Town of Dogville

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Can you believe this vile story was a play? I suppose that was the point; the exploration of the darkness of the human soul. Poor Grace comes to this town to flee the mob but finds out the towns folk are much worse. Keeping her safe from the mob comes with a price in the form of abuse, rape, forced labor and they even make her wear a collar like a dog. In the end, the mob comes looking for her and the mobster in question is her own father. She decides to emprace her father's offer of power and allows the mobsters to kill every person in Dogville. Grace's betrayed lover, Tom Hoover, recieves a bullet from her. Everybody abused her but it was his betrayal that made her believe only she should kill him.

The Prestige

2009-06-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Robert Angier

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Angier hated his rival after he accidentally killed his wife. Ever since then he wanted to best his magic acts. He did it to the point where he framed him for murder and even tried to take his daughter away. Borden shot Angier and gave the big reveal: he actually had a twin brother. Angier couldn't have believed it was that easy but his arrogance lead to his downfall, not to mention thanks to Tesla's device; he caused his own tasty deaths with each magic act.

The Living Daylights

2009-06-30T18:23:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Necros

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Necros fights Bond over a bundle of opium. Due to a mishap from the damsel in distress, she sends them out the plane; tangling over this stuff. Necros fights Bond over this cord and Bond proceeds to cut the ropes. Necros hangs on and even grab the spy's boot. NO PROBLEM, thinks Bond as he stars cutting his boot lace. Necros screams and then plummets the 80 thousand or so feet to the canyons below. BONUS: Poor Necros, it looks like he's holding up the boot in some vain attempt to slow his descent.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

2009-06-30T18:20:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Chief Uruk-Hai

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: The big evil warrior kills the noble Boromir. Aragon comes to his aide, stabbing the Uruk-Hai in the leg. The evil creature pulls the blade out and licks it, growling the whole time. Aragon and him sword fight. Aragon chops off the guy's arm and stabbs him in the gut. The Uruk-Hai still does his "dominace" growl by grabbing the blade and pulling his enemy closer. Aragon is NOT impressed and promptly cuts his head off.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

2009-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Goblin who was in the wrong spot

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Uruks and Goblins are marching on Helms Deep. They are chanting their war cries to the frightened humans. One poor old man couldn't hold his arrow string long enough and fired accidentally. As you can see from the above photo . . . . .at least he didn't miss. :)

Brotherhood Of The Wolf

2009-06-30T18:09:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Jean-François de Morangias

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: That's a long name to pronouce so why don't we just call him , "Evil French Dude." The EFD fights off knight Fronsac with medievl martial arts and chain-swords. Evil French Dude thinks he has the upper hand as he wraps his weapon around the knight's wrist; pulling him every where. Fronsac has a few tricks up his sleeve as he slices his throat during a tussle. Evil French Dude tries to pull his enemy's arm out but only suceeds in making his blade fly right into his chest. Click on the picture for a larger look and you'll see.

Tremors (1990)

2009-06-30T18:06:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Giant worm named Stumpy

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Kevin Bacon comes up with "a god damned plan" and runs toward the edge of a ravine. He throws a homemade bomb and the result explosion causes a super-sonic headache with Stumpy. The giant worm flies toward the opposite direction, then explodes out of the ground and plummets toward the rocks below. Indeed, a giant worm stampede.

Evil Toons

2009-06-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Evil Midget Werewolf Toon

TASTY DEATH RATING: 5

REASONS: Evil Toons gets it's honorable mention on the sole fact of it's hilarity. Four porn stars summon this creature from a dime store knock off Necronomicon, it proceeds to kills and possess them, only to be defeated by the star with the biggest breasts. Well . . . . David Carradine kinda helped.

28 Days Later

2009-06-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Major Henry West

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: The zombie rage guys take over London and a military Major takes it upon himself to secure his own facility. He even kidnaps two women to aide in the "morale" of the men. When the good guy kills all the soldiers and frees the women, Major West pays him back by shooting him. Little Hannah drives the vehicle with West in the back toward the infected. Since he's within reach, the rage zombie is the first to attack him. Oh, by the way, it's one of his own men he valiantly tried to protect.

Mulholand Falls

2009-06-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Colonel Nathan Fitzgerald

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Fitzgerald killed an innocent girl because he thought she was smuggling nuclear secrets or some dumb shit. I haven't seen the movie in a while. Anyway, he thinks he's got the upper hand against Hoover and his partner but then the role is reversed. Fitzgerald doesn't beg for his life; he calls the hero pathetic and that the girl had to die because she was in the way. Hoover replies with, "SHE DIED FOR NOTHING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" and then tosses him out of the plane; letting him die the same way the woman did.

Freddy VS Jason

2009-06-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Freddy Kruegar

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: We've all been waiting to see it and it happened; Freddy VS Jason. After hacking and slashing each other,Freddy cut Jason severely; spilling his demon grape juice blood all over the place. Jason rips off Freddy's arm and seems down for the count. As Freddy is about to use Jason's own machete, the undead hockey player shoves the nightmare Lord's own arm into his chest (cheesy). Then the girl he had victimized chops off his head with Jason's machete. It's always cool to see the victim survive against a truely evil character. It would have been higher had this truely been the end of Freddy but we know it wasn't.

Wild At Heart

2009-06-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Bobby Peru

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Bobby goes to rob a bank for the sole purpose of killing Sailor Ripley during. Sailor manages to get away, Bobby comes after him and gets shot by a passing sheriff. Bobby takes several hits and while he's falling down from his wounds, he makes the mistake of using his shotgun to stabalize himself, thus blowing his own head off. His head bounces off the wall and lands on the ground; only staying in one bloody piece thanks to the pantyhose mask he was wearing. Even the hero, Sailor whispers, "Poor bastard", at such a sight. YOu know it's a horrible death when the hero feels sorry for them.

Just Cause

2009-06-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Bobby Earle

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: See what happens when you threaten a man's family? Armstrong gets the upper hand with Earle as he manages to stab him; thanks to some last minute help with Lawrence Fishburne's character. As they wrestle in the swamp, he stabs him multiple times until Bobby Earle can no longer hold on. To give it a just demise, he's then eaten by crocodiles. It seems like it's an automatic 9 if the the bad guy is eaten by something.

Monster Squad

2009-06-29T18:09:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: How many times do we have to watch Dracula get defeated? This time around, we don't get the luxury of seeing him go up in a firey blaze but he gets banished to Limbo and even gets a little help from his old nemesis, Dr. Van Helsing. To add further indignity, Dracula gets impaled by a 14 year old boy with more guts than the whole town.

Live Free or Die Hard (1)

2009-06-29T18:06:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Mai

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: McClane may not be faster than Mai or skilled in martial arts but he's still an ol'fashioned cop with the ability to improvise quickly. He uses an SUV to shove her into a elevator shaft and then the car gets stuck. As she and McClane are fighting, he manages to get out while she rides the SUV down to a firey demise. I guess she didn't expect this to happen when she got up in the morning.

Live Free or Die Hard (2)

2009-06-29T18:02:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Evil Parkor Terrorist

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: This guy is hoping around, using his Parkor fighting skills and McClane can't get a bead on him. He even steals his gun. When the terrorist thinks he has him, McClane kicks a valve to shove liquid Nitrogen in his face and then he gets chopped into little bits in an industrial fan. McClane puts on the finishing touch by laughing and saying, "OH NO!"

Live Free or Die Hard (3)

2009-06-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Thomas Gabriel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASON: You have to hate someone pretty bad when you are willing to shoot yourself through your own shoulder just to kill someone. It gets a nine on that fact alone.

Innocent Blood

2009-06-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Sallie (The Shark) Macelli

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Robert Loggia's performance was excellent in this film and left me laughing a lot. However, his character was too busy enjoying his new found immortality, he didn't read the fine print in Vampirsim. Fire does hurt vampires, dumb ass.

Quigley Down Under

2009-06-28T18:39:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Elliot Marsten

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: This was probably the best shoot out I've seen in Westerns and it only lasts three seconds. The arrogance and evil ways of Marsten comes back to haunt him when he makes the first big mistake; he gave his enemy a gun. Then Quigley pulls out the pistols and shoots Marsten AND his two minions before they can even draw. This is what Marsten gets for not paying attention.

Pale Rider

2009-06-28T18:34:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Stockburn

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Stockburn must have been a severely evil man. Why? Because God let The Preacher AKA The Pale Rider come back to Earth to kill him. The just moment happened when The Preacher dispatched Stockburn's deputies and then came for him. He recognized his eyes and saw that it was the man he killed so long ago. Preacher filled him with his entire round of bullets and as he collapsed to his knees, he pulls out a smaller pistol and gives him a sixth bullet to the head. Vengence is served.

Tombstone

2009-06-28T18:31:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Johnny Ringo

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: According to history, Doc Holiday did kill Johnny Ringo. We could only hope it was this cool. Ringo looks for a fight with Wyatt Earp but finds Doc instead. Not only does Doc prove his faster by shooting Johnny in the head but as the outlaw is dying, Doc is taughting him to continue to fight. Doc even hated Johnny so much he wanted to kill him legally so he stole Wyatt's badge to do so.

The Quick and The Dead

2009-06-28T18:28:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Herrod

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Vengence is sweet on many levels. Ellen seeks out Herrod because he made her shoot her own father when she was a child. In a quick draw contest, she is the first person to ever beat him; shooting him in the chest to the point where the sun shines through it. She puts another bullet in his head for good measure.

Revolver

2009-06-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Slim Biggins

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Billed as a four time national bodybuilding champion and "six guys rolled into one", Slim chases after Jake and when he climbs over a damaged wall, he makes the the mistake of trying to get his gun ready to shoot on the way down. It did SHOOT, all right. Straight into Slim's face. Even bad ass mob guys get careless every now and then.

Street Kings

2009-06-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Captain Jack Wander

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Tom Ludlow only wanted to punish the guilty. His best friend and captain, Wander wanted to do the same but only on his terms. Using criminals to hunt other criminals and racking up a ton of money in the process. Ludlow doesn't feel there should be any exceptions to punishing the wicked and saving the innocent. He handcups his captain to the stairway rail, then when he hears his confession; he shoots him.

Big Trouble in Little China (1)

2009-06-28T18:18:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Rain

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: The sword play was awesome as well as the flying around. But in his one last despearte attempt to defeat his enemy, he gets stabbed by a flying sword and then explodes when he hits the nearest wall. Sorry, Rain. Clearly Wang-Chi stayed on Wudan Mountain longer than you did.

Big Trouble in Little China (2)

2009-06-28T18:09:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Thunder

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Thunder failed to protect his Master Lopan. So he decides to go out with a bang; literally. His version of Sepukku causes his guts to fly into the hallway like trash and then bring the whole roof down.

Big Trouble in Little China (3)

2009-06-28T18:07:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Lightning

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: It's a shame in that day and age when a man who can command lightning cannot avoid being smashed by a giant concrete Buddha.

Big Trouble in Little China (4)

2009-06-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Lopan

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: He goes through all that trouble to become flesh again, and all he did was set himself up for Good ol' Jack Burton to throw a knife in his forehead. WHOOPS!

Hidalgo

2009-06-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Katib

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Katib had been trying to kill Frank Hopkins and Hidalgo and even hurt the poor horse in a dead fall trap. Katib gets his just deserts, when in a fight with Hopkins, the cowboy shoves him onto one and as Katib thinks he's going to be spared, Hopkins ropes the release mechanism and sends the bad guy down to greet several spikes.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

2009-06-27T05:06:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Judge Doom

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Judge Doom wanted to destroy Toon Town but as it turns out, he was a psycho toon himself. Then Eddie unleashes the DIP on him and the vicious liquids causes him to melt. As Shakespeare would say, "Justly killed by his own treachery."

Small Soldiers

2009-06-27T04:59:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Major Chip Hazard

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Trying to start a war against the neighborhood, Major Chip Hazard gets shoved into a transformer and deep fries long enough to cause an EMP to stop the rest of the Small Soldiers milita. It ended up being more comical than tasty.

The Golden Compass

2009-06-27T04:55:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Ragnar

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Lorek challenges the bear king to death by combat. The younger bear pummels him and calls him a whimpering cub. He taughts him by screaming, "IS THAT ALL?" Then Lorek calls forth his strength, rips off the Bear King's jaw and then breaks his neck with his own snout. He then replies, "Yes . . . . that is all."

The Generals Daughter

2009-06-27T04:51:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Col. William Kent

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Kent strangled a woman who was tied up and naked because he "loved her". He then tried to pin it on a gay man. Seriously? Anyway, when it was clear the warrent officers were going to find out he did; he took the initiative and lured them to a mine field. He then stepped on a Bouncy Betty land mine and magically, is tranformed into hamburger. Definitely a violent way to commit suicide.

Ravenous

2009-06-27T04:47:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Colonel Ives

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Cannibal and professed killer, Colonel Ives offered no regrets about killing and eatting his fellow man. The only one who could stop him was Captain John Boyd because he was filled with regret over what he had done. He sacrified himself to make sure Ives was stopped, by trapping them both in a bear trap and bleeding to death.

Bram Stroker's Dracula (1992)

2009-06-27T04:43:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: He turned Lucy into one of his own kind, tortured poor Jonathan and oh, yeah, at the begining of the film, renounced God. He tries to take Mina for himself and when he fails, upon his death scene, God forgives him at the last second. Mina chops off his head for good measure. He gets a low rating because he didn't die a villain; he died a poor soul who made a mistake in turning his back against the Almighty.

Death Race (2008)

2009-06-27T04:38:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Pachenko

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Pachenko had it coming. He murderd Jensen Ames wife, so Ames AKA Frankenstien crashes his car, slams him again with good measure then gets out to crack his neck personally. Pachenko says it wasn't him; it was Warden Hennessy. Ames replies with, "I know, she's next." and breaks his neck anyway.

Sleep Hollow (1999)

2009-06-27T04:36:00.001-07:00

Bad Guy: Lady Van Tassel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: She made a deal with the devil to command the Headless Horseman. Once the horseman gets his head back, he completes her end of the bargin by taking her physically to Hell. Definitely a ten.

Maximum Overdrive

2009-06-27T04:33:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Goblin Truck

TASTY DEATH RATING: 4

REASONS: Seemed too anti-climatic but then again, this is Maximum Overdrive we're talking about. It would have scored higher had Emilo let the truck chase him down the pier, then fired the bazooka and as it exploded, it also fell into the harbor.

Van Helsing

2009-06-27T04:28:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Once we got past Van Helsing's hat, we saw a pretty good fight. I wouldn't consider it epic though. Van Helsing used the werewolf curse to transform into a beast and rip Dracula's throat out. Pretty violent but not tasty enough. Every fight with Dracula should be epic.

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1)

2009-06-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Ponda Baba AKA The Walrus Man

TASTY DEATH RATING: 3

REASONS: Yeah, raise your hand if you thought these guys were killed and Lucas only showed the severed arm because that's all his special effects could afford at the time. Truth be told, Ponda Baba and his partner Dr. Evazan DIDN'T die. I wasn't so sure, simply because of the severed arm. So, what it boils down to it, had Ben actually killed them it would have scored a higher rating. You can find out what happened to them here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ponda_Baba

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (2)

2009-06-26T18:23:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Wilhelm Stormtrooper

TASTY DEATH RATING; 5

REASONS: Luke and Leia are fighting for their lives in a massive shaft, Stormtroopers are firing at them, Luke kills one and then . . . . HE FALLS DOWN THE SHAFT WITH A HIGH PITCH SCREAM!!! ahahahahah!!! It wasn't a truly tasty death but it was memorable. We should have went, "WHOA!" but all we did was laugh.

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (3)

2009-06-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Grand Moff Tarkin

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Too bad we didn't see him jostle or scream in a massive explosion, then it would have scored higher. "Evaculate?" he told his minion, "In our moment of triumph? I think you over estimate their chances!"

No, sir, YOU DID.

Star Wars V: The Empire Strike Back

2009-06-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Admiral Ozzel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: It would have been a ten if he was evil but Ozzel was just an idiot. He gets the nine because he's the first man we see Vader force choke WHILE he's giving orders to Piett AND not even in the room.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (1)

2009-06-26T18:11:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Boba Fett

TASTY DEATH RATING: 4

REASONS: It pains me to even post this. The badass bounty hunter, scourge of the galaxy and he's taken down by a blind man in a wild jet pack frenzy. Fett deserved better.

Author's Edit: According to the movie world, this is where Fett died. In the expanded Star Wars Genre, Fett's armor kept him alive long enough to crawl out of the Sarlac. He then walked back to Mos Eisely, got his ship Slave I, came back and used it's thruster engines to kill the creature.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (2)

2009-06-26T03:17:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Jabba The Hutt

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Jabba made the mistake of eating too many frogs, left him way overweight and easy to strangle by metal bikini Leia. It would have been a ten had Han and Chewie killed him, by stabbing him to death, having the wookie throw him up against a wall or pour salt on him, whatever you do to a giant slug.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (3)

2009-06-26T03:12:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Emperor Palpatine

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

RATING: One of sci-fi's ultimate bad guys dies by being thrown down a shaft. Pretty freaking good but not epic. For a bad guy to be destroyed by the very reformed villain he helped create, and screamed all the way to his demise was awesome. For it to be a ten, Vader would have had to pummel him to death or something.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (4)

2009-06-26T03:08:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Admiral Piett

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Pretty normal death actually. He survived Vader himself and yet he dies because a valiant Rebel steers his A-Wing to crash into the bridge of the Super Star destroyer. At least Piett you would have gotten a 8.7 on your bridge dive.

Iron Man

2009-06-26T03:03:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Obadiah Stane AKA The Dude Monger

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Channeling his best combination of Tucker and Lebowski, Jeff Bridge's Obadiah Stane is best remembered for his "hold still, ya liddle prick!" and his smacking of his lips when he's drinking whiskey. His death was pretty good but not great.

V For Vendetta (1)

2009-06-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Adam Sutler

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: As V said, "He promised you order, he promised you peace and all he demanded in return was your silent, obediant consent." England's dictactor spouts his evil retoric only to be captured and killed by his subordiates. He cries at the end and even Creedy himself says, "Disgusting."

V For Vendetta (2)

2009-06-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Mr. Creedy

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: It wasn't a particularly tasty death but what gives it that rating is that V told him exactly how he was going to kill him. Creedy had him shot by his men, V killed the men, Creedy shot him some more and V broke his neck . . . . . .just like he said.

Taken (1)

2009-06-25T19:51:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Marko From Tropoja

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: You have to get the unrated version of Taken to truly appreciate this scene. Some assholes never get it; you don't take away a man's daughter. Liam makes sure he's "focused" by stabbing two long nails in his legs, only to hook them up to jumper cables and proceeding to deep fry his worthless hide. Marko confesses where the daugther could be and Liam believes him but he lets him fry anyway.

Taken (2)

2009-06-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Head Arabian Guard

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: He just bought a man's daughter for his sheik because she's a virgin. That father comes on the boat, kills all the guards, fights the Head Guard mercilessly and in the end cuts him across the face, stabs him in the chest with a broken wine bottle, breaks his arm, stabs him in the cut with his own blade and then kicks the bottle twice to force it to go deeper. SERIOUSLY, what did he expect would happen???

Goldeneye (1)

2009-06-25T19:43:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Xenia Zirgavna Onatopp

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Xenia loved to crush people with her legs. Then she gets crushed by the massive pulling force of a helicopter. Makes you wonder if she got off before she died. :)

Goldeneye (2)

2009-06-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Alec Trevelyan AKA Janus AKA 006

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: He fights 007 in mortal combat, then nearly falls only after Bond LETS him fall, breaks his back on the way down and then the satellite array he was going to use to destroy London is now falling toward him in a burning heap. All he could do was scream.

Goldeneye (3)

2009-06-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Boris Grishenko

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Note to evil masterminds; you shouldn't store gasoline and liquid nitrogen in your secret lair. Boris screams, "I am invinicble!" and then SPLASH: he's an invinicble nerd popsicle.

Wyatt Earp

2009-06-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Curly Bill
TASTY DEATH RATING: 8
REASONS: What makes this so cool is that it probably happened in real history. I counted when I watched this scene. Curly Bill fired at Wyatt 11 times and missed. The outlaw marshall takes him down with a double barrel shotgun. Booyah.

Snatch

2009-06-25T10:35:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Bricktop

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Apparently if you kill a Pikey's mother, that one Pikey will rally his whole Pikey clan and destroy you and everyone who works for you. Elvis Constello's Evil Grandfather AKA Bricktop learned this lesson the hard way. He makes one of those "oh, shit" faces as he get a french kiss from a double barrel.

Enemy At The Gates

2009-06-25T03:34:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Major König

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: He killed a little boy and hung him over a pole just to bait out Jude Law's sniper character. Konig didn't know the full story as why he thought he killed the russian sniper but it was actually Joseph Fiennes who sacrificed himself to make amends to Law's character. Then Konig made the crucial sniper mistake; he revealed himself. When he saw the russian sniper had him dead to right, he slowly took off his cap and let it happen. A fitting end to a Nazi Sniper.

Gladiator (2000)

2009-06-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Caeser Commodus

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Men who lust for power never meet a good end. Commodus took Maximus's family away from him. When you face a man who has nothing to lose but his life, he'll hunt you down till it's over. Commodus even tried to even the odds by stabbing him in the back. Wounded and dying, Maximus still found the strength to stab Commodus in the neck with his own blade.

Galaxy Quest

2009-06-25T03:27:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Lord Sarris

TASTY DEATH RATING: 5

REASONS: Getting disintegrated is one thing; getting disintegrated in a sci-fi convention is worse. Talk about demeaning.

Tasty Death Shout Out

2009-06-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

This shout out goes to the master Steven Spielberg. As we were reviewing the Indiana Jones series, we saw it was FILLED with Tasty Deaths!

You're one sick person, Steven and we love you. Thanks for the great movies.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1)

2009-06-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Satipo

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Wasn't really evil and his death scene didn't hold that much impact but it's an honorable mention. His betrayal led to his demise. Greed gets them every time. What else is there to say but, "Adios, Satipo."

Raiders of the Lost Ark (2)

2009-06-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: The Cairo Swordsman

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Indiana has been killing guys all day. He doesn't have time for a sword fight, so he shoots the swordsman and goes on about his day. The look on his face makes the scene.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (3)

2009-06-23T19:18:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Big Nazi Mechanic

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: First rule of evil henchmen fighting Indiana Jones; never fight him near moving machinery. Don't believe me? Check out what happens to the Chief Guard in Temple of Doom.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (4)

2009-06-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

THE TRIPLE HEADER

BAD GUYS: Dietrich, Rene Belloq, and Toht

TASTY DEATH RATINGS: Ten Across the Board

REASONS; One dries up to nothing, one melts like a candle and the other's head explodes. All of this is brought to you by the power of God Almighty. There are some powers that mean are not meant to wield.

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1)

2009-06-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: The Chief Guard

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Indiana didn't want him to die; he just wanted him out of the way. When his shash got caught in the rock crusher, that moment of fear awoke him from the Black Sleep of Kali. However, he was still punished for his crimes anyway.

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (2)

2009-06-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Mola Ram

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Tried to grab a burning mystical stone that wasn't his, falls down a cliff, scrapes his head on the way down and then lands in the water to be immediately eaten by crocodiles. He never realized Indiana meant what he said, when he screamed, "Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali. IN Hell."

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1)

2009-06-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Main Nazi Bad Guy (Vogel, I think)

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Not really a gruesome enough death for a Nazi but good enough. It's his horrifying scream that makes the scene.

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (2)

2009-06-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Dr. Elsa Schneider

TASTY DEATH RATING: 5

REASONS: Elsa doesn't get a high rating because she died of her own making. It was her obsession with the grail that led to her down-fall. God wanted the grail to remain in the cave. Had she heeded the warning, she might have been making little Indiana's back in America.

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (3)

2009-06-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Walter Donovan

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Using the Nazi's to help him find the Holy Grail? Kinda like asking known thieves to be your accountants. Donovan makes an even further mistake by trusting Elsa and drinking the false grail. His arrogance led to his rapid aging demise and as the knight quoted, "He chose poorly."

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (1)

2009-06-23T18:45:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Dovchenko

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Probably would have been a higher rating if the ants disapeared and we saw Dovchenko's bones. Pretty tasty death all things considered, with this tough as nails communist getting his ass handed to him by a 60 year old Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2)

2009-06-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Irina Spalko

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: This scene falls on the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for." Her greed to learn the secrets of the universe backfired when the alien hive mind decided to give it to her. Not only could her mind not take it, neither could her body as it abruptly disintegrated.

WANTED

2009-06-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Sloan

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: He fell for the decoy trick. Then he gets taken out by a super bullet from a mile away. Perhaps he shouldn't have become a super assassin and stayed a super cop like in Seven.

O, Brother where art thou?

2009-06-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Sheriff Cooley

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: "You have eluded Satan, you have eluded me for the last time, " The Sheiff told Everett and his crew. Even Tommy suggested that Cooley was the devil himself. Just as they are about to hang, the travelers beg God to help them out. He conjures the great flood to get them a second chance and banish the Devil back to his firey realm OR . . . . .was it all a big coincidence?

Blind Fury (1)

2009-06-23T18:26:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: The Assassin ( Sho Kosugi)

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Fighting a blind swordsman, getting cut off the sex trapeze and falling into an electrified sauna. Call me old fashioned but I'm pretty Ninjas didn't die this way.

Blind Fury (2)

2009-06-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Slag

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: The immortal Randal "Tex" Cobb ain't so immortal after all. After being sliced, stapped and cut, Blind Rutger Hauer finishes him off by slicing him in half while the momentum sends him down a Dracula style cliff drop. The rating would have been more and we knew they were a on ski-resort but a cliff? Over the top, guys.

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

2009-06-23T18:17:00.001-07:00

BAD GUY: Darth Maul

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: The cocky apprentic of Darth Sidious just killed a Jedi Master and thought a lowly Padawan wouldn't be a problem. It was the arrogance that did him in and in under estimating Obi-Wan, Maul's career as a sith was ended from his legs being removed.

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith (1)

2009-06-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: Count Dooku

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: It wasn't the fact that he got his hands chopped off nor his head that makes this a 9. It's the fact that his own master ordered his death right in front of him. It's that look that makes the scene priceless; an evil sith lord that realizes he's been played the sucker the whole time.

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith (2)

2009-06-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

BAD GUY: General Grievous

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Granted, having your guts scorched out by laser fire is a horrible way to die but this guy killed several Jedi and Obi-Wan was on a time table. He didn't have time to make it tasty.

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith (3)

2009-06-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

HONORABLE MENTION

BAD GUYS: The Two Chode Clone Troopers who thought they could take Master Yoda

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Order 66 comes in, and did Darth Sidious believe he could get it past Yoda that he was killing his Jedi? Yoda already knew something was up and once he felt what the clones behind him were doing, he pulled a double header and then went off to put down Sidious once and for all.