Braveheart

BAD GUY: English Noble

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: The old English Noble kills an innocent woman. That innocent woman happened to be Wallace's wife. He comes back into the town, dispatches the English guards with some help from his friends and then slices the throat of the Noble . . . .just how he did his wife.

Rising Sun

BAD GUY: Bob Richmond

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Bob is an opportunist. He wants to ride high up the corporate ladder; so much he kills a woman and frames it on the son of a Japanese business man. When the friends of the Japanese guy find out, they attack Bob, and throw him into a vat of wet concrete. The fall knocks him out and he slowly sinks to his death.

Dogville

BAD GUY: The Entire Town of Dogville

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Can you believe this vile story was a play? I suppose that was the point; the exploration of the darkness of the human soul. Poor Grace comes to this town to flee the mob but finds out the towns folk are much worse. Keeping her safe from the mob comes with a price in the form of abuse, rape, forced labor and they even make her wear a collar like a dog. In the end, the mob comes looking for her and the mobster in question is her own father. She decides to emprace her father's offer of power and allows the mobsters to kill every person in Dogville. Grace's betrayed lover, Tom Hoover, recieves a bullet from her. Everybody abused her but it was his betrayal that made her believe only she should kill him.

The Prestige

BAD GUY: Robert Angier

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Angier hated his rival after he accidentally killed his wife. Ever since then he wanted to best his magic acts. He did it to the point where he framed him for murder and even tried to take his daughter away. Borden shot Angier and gave the big reveal: he actually had a twin brother. Angier couldn't have believed it was that easy but his arrogance lead to his downfall, not to mention thanks to Tesla's device; he caused his own tasty deaths with each magic act.

The Living Daylights

BAD GUY: Necros

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Necros fights Bond over a bundle of opium. Due to a mishap from the damsel in distress, she sends them out the plane; tangling over this stuff. Necros fights Bond over this cord and Bond proceeds to cut the ropes. Necros hangs on and even grab the spy's boot. NO PROBLEM, thinks Bond as he stars cutting his boot lace. Necros screams and then plummets the 80 thousand or so feet to the canyons below. BONUS: Poor Necros, it looks like he's holding up the boot in some vain attempt to slow his descent.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

BAD GUY: Chief Uruk-Hai

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: The big evil warrior kills the noble Boromir. Aragon comes to his aide, stabbing the Uruk-Hai in the leg. The evil creature pulls the blade out and licks it, growling the whole time. Aragon and him sword fight. Aragon chops off the guy's arm and stabbs him in the gut. The Uruk-Hai still does his "dominace" growl by grabbing the blade and pulling his enemy closer. Aragon is NOT impressed and promptly cuts his head off.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

BAD GUY: Goblin who was in the wrong spot

TASTY DEATH RATING: 6

REASONS: Uruks and Goblins are marching on Helms Deep. They are chanting their war cries to the frightened humans. One poor old man couldn't hold his arrow string long enough and fired accidentally. As you can see from the above photo . . . . .at least he didn't miss. :)

Brotherhood Of The Wolf

BAD GUY: Jean-François de Morangias

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: That's a long name to pronouce so why don't we just call him , "Evil French Dude." The EFD fights off knight Fronsac with medievl martial arts and chain-swords. Evil French Dude thinks he has the upper hand as he wraps his weapon around the knight's wrist; pulling him every where. Fronsac has a few tricks up his sleeve as he slices his throat during a tussle. Evil French Dude tries to pull his enemy's arm out but only suceeds in making his blade fly right into his chest. Click on the picture for a larger look and you'll see.

Tremors (1990)

BAD GUY: Giant worm named Stumpy

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Kevin Bacon comes up with "a god damned plan" and runs toward the edge of a ravine. He throws a homemade bomb and the result explosion causes a super-sonic headache with Stumpy. The giant worm flies toward the opposite direction, then explodes out of the ground and plummets toward the rocks below. Indeed, a giant worm stampede.

Evil Toons

BAD GUY: Evil Midget Werewolf Toon

TASTY DEATH RATING: 5

REASONS: Evil Toons gets it's honorable mention on the sole fact of it's hilarity. Four porn stars summon this creature from a dime store knock off Necronomicon, it proceeds to kills and possess them, only to be defeated by the star with the biggest breasts. Well . . . . David Carradine kinda helped.

28 Days Later

BAD GUY: Major Henry West

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: The zombie rage guys take over London and a military Major takes it upon himself to secure his own facility. He even kidnaps two women to aide in the "morale" of the men. When the good guy kills all the soldiers and frees the women, Major West pays him back by shooting him. Little Hannah drives the vehicle with West in the back toward the infected. Since he's within reach, the rage zombie is the first to attack him. Oh, by the way, it's one of his own men he valiantly tried to protect.

Mulholand Falls

BAD GUY: Colonel Nathan Fitzgerald

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Fitzgerald killed an innocent girl because he thought she was smuggling nuclear secrets or some dumb shit. I haven't seen the movie in a while. Anyway, he thinks he's got the upper hand against Hoover and his partner but then the role is reversed. Fitzgerald doesn't beg for his life; he calls the hero pathetic and that the girl had to die because she was in the way. Hoover replies with, "SHE DIED FOR NOTHING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" and then tosses him out of the plane; letting him die the same way the woman did.

Freddy VS Jason

BAD GUY: Freddy Kruegar

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: We've all been waiting to see it and it happened; Freddy VS Jason. After hacking and slashing each other,Freddy cut Jason severely; spilling his demon grape juice blood all over the place. Jason rips off Freddy's arm and seems down for the count. As Freddy is about to use Jason's own machete, the undead hockey player shoves the nightmare Lord's own arm into his chest (cheesy). Then the girl he had victimized chops off his head with Jason's machete. It's always cool to see the victim survive against a truely evil character. It would have been higher had this truely been the end of Freddy but we know it wasn't.

Wild At Heart

BAD GUY: Bobby Peru

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Bobby goes to rob a bank for the sole purpose of killing Sailor Ripley during. Sailor manages to get away, Bobby comes after him and gets shot by a passing sheriff. Bobby takes several hits and while he's falling down from his wounds, he makes the mistake of using his shotgun to stabalize himself, thus blowing his own head off. His head bounces off the wall and lands on the ground; only staying in one bloody piece thanks to the pantyhose mask he was wearing. Even the hero, Sailor whispers, "Poor bastard", at such a sight. YOu know it's a horrible death when the hero feels sorry for them.

Just Cause

BAD GUY: Bobby Earle

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: See what happens when you threaten a man's family? Armstrong gets the upper hand with Earle as he manages to stab him; thanks to some last minute help with Lawrence Fishburne's character. As they wrestle in the swamp, he stabs him multiple times until Bobby Earle can no longer hold on. To give it a just demise, he's then eaten by crocodiles. It seems like it's an automatic 9 if the the bad guy is eaten by something.

Monster Squad

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: How many times do we have to watch Dracula get defeated? This time around, we don't get the luxury of seeing him go up in a firey blaze but he gets banished to Limbo and even gets a little help from his old nemesis, Dr. Van Helsing. To add further indignity, Dracula gets impaled by a 14 year old boy with more guts than the whole town.

Live Free or Die Hard (1)

BAD GUY: Mai

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: McClane may not be faster than Mai or skilled in martial arts but he's still an ol'fashioned cop with the ability to improvise quickly. He uses an SUV to shove her into a elevator shaft and then the car gets stuck. As she and McClane are fighting, he manages to get out while she rides the SUV down to a firey demise. I guess she didn't expect this to happen when she got up in the morning.

Live Free or Die Hard (2)

BAD GUY: The Evil Parkor Terrorist

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: This guy is hoping around, using his Parkor fighting skills and McClane can't get a bead on him. He even steals his gun. When the terrorist thinks he has him, McClane kicks a valve to shove liquid Nitrogen in his face and then he gets chopped into little bits in an industrial fan. McClane puts on the finishing touch by laughing and saying, "OH NO!"

Live Free or Die Hard (3)

BAD GUY: Thomas Gabriel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASON: You have to hate someone pretty bad when you are willing to shoot yourself through your own shoulder just to kill someone. It gets a nine on that fact alone.

Innocent Blood

BAD GUY: Sallie (The Shark) Macelli

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Robert Loggia's performance was excellent in this film and left me laughing a lot. However, his character was too busy enjoying his new found immortality, he didn't read the fine print in Vampirsim. Fire does hurt vampires, dumb ass.

Quigley Down Under

BAD GUY: Elliot Marsten

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: This was probably the best shoot out I've seen in Westerns and it only lasts three seconds. The arrogance and evil ways of Marsten comes back to haunt him when he makes the first big mistake; he gave his enemy a gun. Then Quigley pulls out the pistols and shoots Marsten AND his two minions before they can even draw. This is what Marsten gets for not paying attention.

Pale Rider

BAD GUY: Stockburn

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: Stockburn must have been a severely evil man. Why? Because God let The Preacher AKA The Pale Rider come back to Earth to kill him. The just moment happened when The Preacher dispatched Stockburn's deputies and then came for him. He recognized his eyes and saw that it was the man he killed so long ago. Preacher filled him with his entire round of bullets and as he collapsed to his knees, he pulls out a smaller pistol and gives him a sixth bullet to the head. Vengence is served.

Tombstone

BAD GUY: Johnny Ringo

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: According to history, Doc Holiday did kill Johnny Ringo. We could only hope it was this cool. Ringo looks for a fight with Wyatt Earp but finds Doc instead. Not only does Doc prove his faster by shooting Johnny in the head but as the outlaw is dying, Doc is taughting him to continue to fight. Doc even hated Johnny so much he wanted to kill him legally so he stole Wyatt's badge to do so.

The Quick and The Dead

BAD GUY: Herrod

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Vengence is sweet on many levels. Ellen seeks out Herrod because he made her shoot her own father when she was a child. In a quick draw contest, she is the first person to ever beat him; shooting him in the chest to the point where the sun shines through it. She puts another bullet in his head for good measure.

Revolver

BAD GUY: Slim Biggins

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Billed as a four time national bodybuilding champion and "six guys rolled into one", Slim chases after Jake and when he climbs over a damaged wall, he makes the the mistake of trying to get his gun ready to shoot on the way down. It did SHOOT, all right. Straight into Slim's face. Even bad ass mob guys get careless every now and then.

Street Kings

BAD GUY: Captain Jack Wander

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Tom Ludlow only wanted to punish the guilty. His best friend and captain, Wander wanted to do the same but only on his terms. Using criminals to hunt other criminals and racking up a ton of money in the process. Ludlow doesn't feel there should be any exceptions to punishing the wicked and saving the innocent. He handcups his captain to the stairway rail, then when he hears his confession; he shoots him.

Big Trouble in Little China (1)

BAD GUY: Rain

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: The sword play was awesome as well as the flying around. But in his one last despearte attempt to defeat his enemy, he gets stabbed by a flying sword and then explodes when he hits the nearest wall. Sorry, Rain. Clearly Wang-Chi stayed on Wudan Mountain longer than you did.

Big Trouble in Little China (2)

BAD GUY: Thunder

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Thunder failed to protect his Master Lopan. So he decides to go out with a bang; literally. His version of Sepukku causes his guts to fly into the hallway like trash and then bring the whole roof down.

Big Trouble in Little China (3)

BAD GUY: Lightning

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: It's a shame in that day and age when a man who can command lightning cannot avoid being smashed by a giant concrete Buddha.

Big Trouble in Little China (4)

BAD GUY: Lopan

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: He goes through all that trouble to become flesh again, and all he did was set himself up for Good ol' Jack Burton to throw a knife in his forehead. WHOOPS!

Hidalgo

BAD GUY: Katib

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Katib had been trying to kill Frank Hopkins and Hidalgo and even hurt the poor horse in a dead fall trap. Katib gets his just deserts, when in a fight with Hopkins, the cowboy shoves him onto one and as Katib thinks he's going to be spared, Hopkins ropes the release mechanism and sends the bad guy down to greet several spikes.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

BAD GUY: Judge Doom

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Judge Doom wanted to destroy Toon Town but as it turns out, he was a psycho toon himself. Then Eddie unleashes the DIP on him and the vicious liquids causes him to melt. As Shakespeare would say, "Justly killed by his own treachery."

Small Soldiers

BAD GUY: Major Chip Hazard

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Trying to start a war against the neighborhood, Major Chip Hazard gets shoved into a transformer and deep fries long enough to cause an EMP to stop the rest of the Small Soldiers milita. It ended up being more comical than tasty.

The Golden Compass

BAD GUY: Ragnar

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Lorek challenges the bear king to death by combat. The younger bear pummels him and calls him a whimpering cub. He taughts him by screaming, "IS THAT ALL?" Then Lorek calls forth his strength, rips off the Bear King's jaw and then breaks his neck with his own snout. He then replies, "Yes . . . . that is all."

The Generals Daughter

BAD GUY: Col. William Kent

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Kent strangled a woman who was tied up and naked because he "loved her". He then tried to pin it on a gay man. Seriously? Anyway, when it was clear the warrent officers were going to find out he did; he took the initiative and lured them to a mine field. He then stepped on a Bouncy Betty land mine and magically, is tranformed into hamburger. Definitely a violent way to commit suicide.

Ravenous

BAD GUY: Colonel Ives

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Cannibal and professed killer, Colonel Ives offered no regrets about killing and eatting his fellow man. The only one who could stop him was Captain John Boyd because he was filled with regret over what he had done. He sacrified himself to make sure Ives was stopped, by trapping them both in a bear trap and bleeding to death.

Bram Stroker's Dracula (1992)

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: He turned Lucy into one of his own kind, tortured poor Jonathan and oh, yeah, at the begining of the film, renounced God. He tries to take Mina for himself and when he fails, upon his death scene, God forgives him at the last second. Mina chops off his head for good measure. He gets a low rating because he didn't die a villain; he died a poor soul who made a mistake in turning his back against the Almighty.

Death Race (2008)

BAD GUY: Pachenko

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: Pachenko had it coming. He murderd Jensen Ames wife, so Ames AKA Frankenstien crashes his car, slams him again with good measure then gets out to crack his neck personally. Pachenko says it wasn't him; it was Warden Hennessy. Ames replies with, "I know, she's next." and breaks his neck anyway.

Sleep Hollow (1999)

Bad Guy: Lady Van Tassel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 10

REASONS: She made a deal with the devil to command the Headless Horseman. Once the horseman gets his head back, he completes her end of the bargin by taking her physically to Hell. Definitely a ten.

Maximum Overdrive

BAD GUY: The Goblin Truck

TASTY DEATH RATING: 4

REASONS: Seemed too anti-climatic but then again, this is Maximum Overdrive we're talking about. It would have scored higher had Emilo let the truck chase him down the pier, then fired the bazooka and as it exploded, it also fell into the harbor.

Van Helsing

BAD GUY: Dracula

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Once we got past Van Helsing's hat, we saw a pretty good fight. I wouldn't consider it epic though. Van Helsing used the werewolf curse to transform into a beast and rip Dracula's throat out. Pretty violent but not tasty enough. Every fight with Dracula should be epic.

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1)

BAD GUY: Ponda Baba AKA The Walrus Man

TASTY DEATH RATING: 3

REASONS: Yeah, raise your hand if you thought these guys were killed and Lucas only showed the severed arm because that's all his special effects could afford at the time. Truth be told, Ponda Baba and his partner Dr. Evazan DIDN'T die. I wasn't so sure, simply because of the severed arm. So, what it boils down to it, had Ben actually killed them it would have scored a higher rating. You can find out what happened to them here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ponda_Baba

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (2)

BAD GUY: The Wilhelm Stormtrooper

TASTY DEATH RATING; 5

REASONS: Luke and Leia are fighting for their lives in a massive shaft, Stormtroopers are firing at them, Luke kills one and then . . . . HE FALLS DOWN THE SHAFT WITH A HIGH PITCH SCREAM!!! ahahahahah!!! It wasn't a truly tasty death but it was memorable. We should have went, "WHOA!" but all we did was laugh.

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (3)

BAD GUY: Grand Moff Tarkin

TASTY DEATH RATING: 7

REASONS: Too bad we didn't see him jostle or scream in a massive explosion, then it would have scored higher. "Evaculate?" he told his minion, "In our moment of triumph? I think you over estimate their chances!"

No, sir, YOU DID.

Star Wars V: The Empire Strike Back

BAD GUY: Admiral Ozzel

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

REASONS: It would have been a ten if he was evil but Ozzel was just an idiot. He gets the nine because he's the first man we see Vader force choke WHILE he's giving orders to Piett AND not even in the room.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (1)

BAD GUY: Boba Fett

TASTY DEATH RATING: 4

REASONS: It pains me to even post this. The badass bounty hunter, scourge of the galaxy and he's taken down by a blind man in a wild jet pack frenzy. Fett deserved better.

Author's Edit: According to the movie world, this is where Fett died. In the expanded Star Wars Genre, Fett's armor kept him alive long enough to crawl out of the Sarlac. He then walked back to Mos Eisely, got his ship Slave I, came back and used it's thruster engines to kill the creature.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (2)

BAD GUY: Jabba The Hutt

TASTY DEATH RATING: 8

REASONS: Jabba made the mistake of eating too many frogs, left him way overweight and easy to strangle by metal bikini Leia. It would have been a ten had Han and Chewie killed him, by stabbing him to death, having the wookie throw him up against a wall or pour salt on him, whatever you do to a giant slug.

Star Wars VI: Return of The Jedi (3)

BAD GUY: Emperor Palpatine

TASTY DEATH RATING: 9

RATING: One of sci-fi's ultimate bad guys dies by being thrown down a shaft. Pretty freaking good but not epic. For a bad guy to be destroyed by the very reformed villain he helped create, and screamed all the way to his demise was awesome. For it to be a ten, Vader would have had to pummel him to death or something.